Today I am...

Today I am:

One month clean from Vicodin, and passed the rebound pain.

Six years clean from Benzodiazepines and anti-psychotics

I've been growing out my hair since November of 2009

My cat, Delilah, turns nine years old today

My parents have three showings for their house today

It's 48* F in Denver

I still love living here

I am extremely excited to watch the first Doctor Who episode of the new season!

Yum!

Grapefruit is such a pain in the ass to prepare for eating...but they are SO worth it! Every year around Christmas time a box of grapefruit would arrive at our house. My paternal grandmother, Nonnie, would have a box sent to each of her kids and their families.  It was a marker than Christmas was coming very soon, better be extra good, cos Santa is watching. ;) And oh god they tasted SO good!  They looked so pretty. Just looking at them would make my mouth water! I loved them.

Nonnie died in January of 2000, and I can count on one hand the number of times I have eaten grapefruit since then. I don't know why I stopped eating them. it wasn't a conscious decision. Last week I was in the grocery store and I walked past the display of grapefruit and suddenly I wanted one more than anything I have ever wanted before. I bought two, and hoped they would be as good as I remember. I just ate one...

Oh god so good! That's good to know! I will definitely be adding grapefruit to my diet!

Rumours of my death have been greatly exaggerated

Okay, I know it looks like I have abandoned my blog, or died and left it alone. Neither of those things is true. Obviously I am still alive, or a very talented ghost. ;) I have, however been sick. My body decided that I needed an entire winter of being ill, this has not happened for a few years. I have managed to stay out of the hospital, though and that makes it not so bad.  At the moment I have no voice, not even a squeak. I am extremely annoyed by this! I'm a talker, I talk all the time, even when I am the only one here. Yeah...not today I don't! Yuck!

Last Thursday...I wore Converse hi-tops for the first time in over a year! I was so happy SO happy! My feet/ankles/lower legs are finally not grossly swollen! It's been hard to pick shoes, but now it's because I have too many choices!

A little Advice

I have a small piece of advice for my readers, if I have any...
Never have a sneezing fit with a mouth full of oatmeal! 

Hell of a week!

So...this has been one crazy week, really crazy! On Monday I went to the dentist, which generally terrifies me...this time was no exception. But I had a baby tooth that had had a filling years ago and most of the filling came out recently...I finally decided to get it taken care of. Oh...yes...you read that right I still have some baby teeth. Anyway, I figured I would go to the dentist, they would take X-rays and look at my tooth and then schedule the tooth extraction for some other time.  When the doctor asked me if I wanted him to just pull it now and be done with it, I said yes! They were very sweet to me and handled my fear really well and they let me listen to my iPod while they pulled the tooth.  So eventually the tooth came out, but he was still doing something in my mouth, he explained that the baby tooth had broken at the roots and he was trying to get it all extracted so it wouldn't cause problems later.  Okay...I'm just listening to my iPod pretending I'm not there...so whatever you want! Turns out the doctor accidentally perforated my gum and went into my sinus.  All I could think when he said that was, "Thank you god for local anesthetic!" So I ended up with a couple stitches and an appointment to come back 48 hours later to make sure it was okay. Guess what's not okay....guess who has tooth and/or bone fragments in her sinus...guess who has to go see an oral surgeon and probably has to have more surgery. If you guessed me you win!

So that was stressful, to say the least. Painful too, ice packs are my best friends right now! But...there is more to my tale...

That awful earthquake in New Zealand... my aunt and uncle, who travel the world are in New Zealand right now.  I didn't panic, New Zealand is made up of two or three islands...so they may not have even been on the same island as the earthquake. I checked their web page and it said they were in Christchurch....oh shit that's where the earthquake was. Okay...then I got scared, really scared! Pacing around my living room scared. I suddenly wanted a rosary. I'm not even Catholic anymore! I haven't considered myself a Catholic in like 20 years! I settled for playing with the mustard seed pendant I wear and pacing and praying and obsessively checking my e-mail, their Facebook and their web page. Finally about a day and a half later we got an e-mail from them.  They sent one as soon as they were able to. They were fine, unharmed as my Aunt put it. I have seldom cried as hard as I did when that e-mail came.  I was so relieved!  They have been traveling for years and years and this was the first time I have ever been scared for them!

So, that was my week.  I think I need to go colour while watching really stupid stuff on telly. I need to disconnect...and I am having trouble getting there this week, more than usual, I mean! Thankfully Saturday is "crafternoon" so I get to spend some time with my friends, work on Mercedes' blanket, and well...disconnect! ;)  I have Jello to mould...so I gotta go! ;)

Snow :)

When I walked out of the grocery store this evening, I was not struck by the cold, but by the intense beauty of the snow covered trees.

Anniversary

I can't let today finish until I make this blog entry...today is an important day to me.  Today is the 10th anniversary of the day I came out to my family.  There were one or two friends, and a psycho hose beast now ex-girlfriend that knew before my family did...but not long before. After I told my family, I never again hid my sexuality.  I am proud of myself for coming out and proud and not going back into the closet.  

And even though it has taken some explaining and education for my family to accept me as I am, they let me explain and educate...and I know a lot of people don't even have that option.  I thank god every day for giving me a family that accepted me instead of cutting all ties with me. I'm lucky, and I know it.

So...here's to ten more years of me being myself!  I hope that more people are given the chance to be themselves!  We have recently made a massive step forward in that department with the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell...but there are miles and miles to go before the equality fight can end.

Dilemma resolved!

Well, I won't have to worry who I am going to root for in the Super Bowl...the Bears sucked ass!  Seriously, they played an awful game!  So it's:

GO STEELERS!  

It would be awesome if they win a 7th Super Bowl! I can't wait for the game...and then after that a new episode of Glee finally! It's going to be a groovy Sunday! :)  And then the next day Gina and I will be celebrating her birthday!  YAY!  Lunch, cake and fun! :)

Football

I'm getting excited for the AFC championship game on Sunday.  That tends to happen when your favourite team is in the game. ;) But, I have this tiny dilemma, the NFC championship game is also going to be awesome...Bears and Packers is always a good game! So here is the dilemma part...if the Bears win their game they go to the Superbowl.  If the Steelers win their game they go to the Superbowl. What am I supposed to do if my two football teams play each other in the Superbowl?!  Who do I root for?! I know in the grand scheme of things, this is tiny bordering on insignificant, but it does mean something for me. I'm also getting ahead of myself...since the games aren't until Sunday! I need to come up with an awesome yellow and black design for my nails. ;)

Obsession

The Steelers have an NFL playoff game this afternoon, and I am already pumped and ready to go! I know where my Steelers T-shirt is.  My Steelers sweat shirt, my Steelers earrings, am already drinking out of my Steelers mug and I am currently painting my nails black and yellow and my Terrible Towel is on the back of the couch...ready for me to be twirling it. One of my build-a-bear bears has a scaled down terrible towel; it's pretty adorble.  But I'm not obsessed, ;)  I have a minor obsession...no big deal. ;) I can quit any time. ;)

Okay and on a completely non-related subject...why is it even if I pee before I start doing my nails, at some point while they are still wet do I have to pee again? Am I the only one this happens to?

Winter came late and brought the cold!

It has been so cold here! Winter arrived a bit later than usual and it brought bitter cold and snow with it!  I am not liking the cold one bit!  Monday I had an appointment, and I had to be outside, in the cold, waiting for my ride. It was about 9*F when I was waiting.  I had on leggings, pants, T-shirt, and another T-shirt, my jacket, a hat, a scarf, and gloves!  I still felt cold, I also felt like the kid in A Christmas Story..."I can't put my arms down!" LOL! 

And because fate has a sense of humor even more sick than my own...I get to do it again today.  Only instead of late afternoon I get to do it in the morning.  We are not amused! I need to get my butt to bed, cos 8 am is going to come fast.  God how I hate mornings!

Sick and tired!

I am really sick of being sick and tired.  It feels like so much has happened with my health all at once, and to be honest it's really overwhelming. All this new stuff to learn about, to figure out how to cope with...and it's not like the other stuff goes away, it needs the same attention it has been getting, if not more.

It scares me that I have been admitted to the hospital twice recently, for multi-day stays.  I don't like being in the hospital, but even more than hating being in the hospital I hate lugging around an oxygen tank every time I leave the house.  Of all the medical related equipment I have had to deal with, the oxygen tank is the one I am most embarrassed by.  I don't know why, it just is, I guess.

I think the thing that bugs me most is that I've been sick since I was 14 years old! Yeah, 14. I haven't gotten a single not sick day since then. I don't get to take a break from this, it's 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for 21 years! That's a long time...and that number is just going to get bigger.

I also know that even though I want to quit and not play anymore...that won't happen.  I will manage all the new sick along with the old sick because that's the only thing I know how to do. As much as I really would like to give up, I can't do it...I've tried.  I know that's a good thing, but it's also a pain in the ass!

Retail Therapy

I do love retail therapy!  I had quite a bit of it yesterday!
I rolled out of bed feeling kind of "blah" and decided rather than rolling right back into my bed as soon as I took my meds that I would call Gina and see if she wanted to go to Build-a-Bear workshop.  She did! :)  I had Christmas money to spend, and I have been wanting to get my bear Owen a playmate. ;)  So off to the mall we went.  Usually malls are hard for me, even with my walker...but with the addition of the oxygen it was no problem! :)  I bought crazy earrings that I have loved for six months...they were half off so I felt like I could afford them.  Here is a picture of them...

 I know they are massive, but they are not the biggest earrings I have ever owned!  I showed a picture of them to my parents and my dad couldn't believe they were earrings and is convinced they would pull him over.  My response was, "They aren't really your style anyway, Dad."  I also got jewelry at Forever 21 and Claire's. :)


And I got a playmate for Owen Bear...

..

Say hello to, Toshiko Bear. :) Yes, they are named after Torchwood Characters...no they really aren't in "costume" right now.  Owen bear does have scrubs and a little lab coat complete with an "I'm a mess" pin...but he was sick of wearing them. ;)


Here are Tosh Bear and Owen Bear together...

Cute little couple, aren't they? :)


So, mission accomplished, I spent my Christmas money on fun things, I had a fun time with Gina and I got jewelry and a new teddy bear out of it.  Yup...retail therapy worked perfectly! ;)

Brand new blog for a brand new year!

Oh, look at this all shiny and new...what am I going to do with it? In a perfect world, I would update this every day and be witty and sarcastic and people would love my blog. In the real world, I'd be happy if I updated once a week, and I will get a few new readers.

Brand new year, brand new decade, brand new day...brand new blog. Hmm...I like the way that sounds.