Last night I went grocery shopping. I went at night for two reasons...one that's when my helper came and two far less people which means less sensory overload which means quicker trip and less trauma for me...excellent plan, yeah? More like excellent in theory...it was going okay. I managed not to forget stuff on my list...we were getting through the store fairly quickly...things were going well. I didn't have any urges to stop and sit on the floor and rock. I didn't have to walk away from the aisles because of too many choices. Then came check out time...
It was after 9:00 pm but I don't know the exact time...we we go to check out and all the checkouts that have people who work them are closed. All that's open are the self-checkout lines. I HATE those things, really I do. I swear to god they have a vendetta against me! I roll my eyes and get ready to battle...the signs say 15 items or less and I have WAY more than that, but it's my only choice so I go for it. I just want to pay and get out of there. I am tired, a little short of breath courtesy of pneumonia, I can feel low blood sugar and anxiety starting to creep in around the edges...it is time to go! So I grit my teeth and get ready to do this. There are issues abound here not the least of which those self-checkout stations are not meant to handle an entire cart full of groceries, there isn't enough room and when you remove something from the bagging area it has a freak out at you and won't let you ring anything else up until you put the removed item back. Okay, fine...whatever. Items did not want to scan, or they would scan too many times so there was a lot of grumbling yelling and otherwise insulting the stupid machine. I finally get everything rung up properly and my helper starts moving the bags into the cart while I am paying...it doesn't want to read my card and then it has a freak out cos bags got moved...stupid machine the shit had been rung up I was just trying to get it to read the damn EBT card...finally it does...and then it spazzes again when I try to pay for my non-food items with my debit card. I used it as credit because it's a new card and suddenly in my haze of frustration, anxiety slightly low blood sugar etc I could not remember my new PIN number. The bloody thing did not like that...it finally accepted it after the third try. I was so ready to punch somebody in the damn neck by the time this was over...and the stupid attendant was not the least bit helpful!
The thing is...there were people working there...people I know are checkers so why the hell couldn't they just open a line for me and my massive cart of groceries instead of making me do all that. I know that is bordering on wanting special treatment, but at the same time it would have been easier for everyone...especially the massive que that built up behind me! So yeah almost got out of there unscathed...almost.
It took me a while to calm down...all the time trying to hide it from my helper. Hiding it is so much easier than trying to explain all this to someone. Especially someone who's first language is not English. It's my own fault, really...I can barely explain most of this to anyone...not even my best friend. It is slighly easier to write it, to be honest. So hello there blog! I knew this thing would come in handy again someday. Glad I didn't delete it.
On a less whacko note...my older sister and her two girls are coming this month! YAY! I haven't seen my sister in a couple of years and I have not seen the girls in five years. I have only met Sadie twice and Zoe once and she was only 9 months old...I doubt either one of them remember meeting me. I am very much looking forward to that. Nice to have something to look forward to!